Spoilers! Also… apologies for any strange grammar or formatting. I’ve never written an entire post on mobile before.

I can’t possibly be the only person who hated that episode, right? It moved a few players around the board, but in a set of moves that proved to be mostly pointless.

Jamie Lannister, for example. His sojourn to the Riverlands accomplished what exactly? The offscreen death of the Blackfish? The satisfied need to again make a speech about his incestuous urges? Even his reunion with Brienne underwhelmed. His character growth has stalled this season, and now that he’s presumably running back to Cersei yet again the entire Riverlands sojourn amounted to one big disappointing afterthought. Well, except for the return of Bronn. His banter with Pod was greatly missed.

Arya has a story of equal head scratching measure. We put her in the care of Lady Crane without haste, but then some convoluted parkour with the Waif-turned-Terminator goes down and the entire conflict results in… Jaqen being happy that she reclaimed her name? What?

Other let downs? Tyrions diplomacy fails in a Mereenese plot line were all diplomacy fails, obviously. Dragon power or nothing, am I right? The Masters attack, but only perfect Khaleesi can save the day! So what was Tyrion’s purpose exactly the entire season? Teaching Grey Worm the magic of laughter? And nevermind Varys and his mysterious secret mission.

On the topic of other narrative trains going to letdownville, did the Hound get reintroduced for the sole purpose of joining an army of like 4 dudes? I suppose it shows that people in the South are finally getting word of the Walkers, and the Stark Party needs all the delegates they can get… but I would’ve rather seen Lady Stoneheart, or the now cancelled Cleganebowl.

Obviously my own theories and conjectures can’t be correct all of the time. The show had always relied on its unpredictability to drive its popularity and no one wants to watch something were every arc has an obvious outcome. So it’s not that I’m upset about the cancellation of trial by combat, or the lackluster demise of the best Tully. I’m bummed that the twists we were given were so bland and lackluster.

I really hope the final two episodes blow my mind, because this one was far from that goal, and made me seriously question what direction the showrunners are taking this crazy train.