Spoilers for ‘Spoils,’ and other episodes too.
Forgive any grammar concerns. I have to type on my phone and while I will proofread before sending there is bound to be some obnoxious autocorrect or another.
This week’s episode was both awesome and deeply infuriating. Several things- incredible, visually phenomenal things- took place. But it was 50 minutes long. Where are those run times HBO? We’re already getting a short season. Don’t skimp on the minutes too, even if this is the only sub-hour entry so far.
The Stark reunions continue, with poor Sansa being so boring an mundane. Jon is a zombie god. Bran is an all seeing tree god. Arya is a ninja who served the many faced god. Sansa just gets brutally abused and raped? Being a skilled castle manager is pretty cool, but not a superpower, and not when it means dealing with sneaky Pete all the time.
I’m not sure what to think of Littlefinger’s plans at this point. Does he have a defined end game? He seems unsure of how to deal with the newest Starks in Winterfell, especially since they could implicate him in a whole mess of crimes. Will the dagger come back to bite him? And wasn’t it totally unfair for Arya to beat Brienne. Girl’s been training as a warrior her entire life and some kid who was in Braavos for a hot second gets to best her?
Before we move further south I need to make a prediction of Meera Reed. Her father is the only living person who 100% knows Jon’s secret parentage. Will her returning to Greywater bring Howland into the fold to corroborate what Bran knows? I hope so.
At Dragonstone we see a few things play out. Davos plays it smooth with Missandei, Jon neither punches not hugs Theon, ruining my watch party bet, and the caves below the island have the most cringeworthy deus-ex-machina exposition ever. If the episode had one misstep those drawings were it. I mean really- “I’ve been trying to prove the existence of walkers and you’ve been living over a trove of very lifelike artwork this whole time!”
That’s just lazy.
But I can forgive it since we did get an impressive battle- complete with Bronn actually getting lines to say! It had been too long. It seems silly that it took that long for someone in the Targaryen camp to realize Dothraki in open fields are terrifying. Add dragons and you’ve got a cake walk. If only Jaime and Bronn weren’t dipped in unbreakable plot armor. I love my boy B, for sure, but how is it that every other solider is literally being burnt to cinders, and every single wagon is on fire except the one with the giant arrows?
I lied. The cave art wasn’t the only lazy thing in this episode. But hey, it looked really cool?
That entire battle, complete with Tyrions worried voiceover, was appropriately epic, and is certain to tilt the scales of the war yet again. The Iron Bank has their cash, but will they back an army with no supplies and a decimated soldier count? Is Drogon able to fly still? Will this put a pause in the human war and renew focus on the north? Where is Lyanna Mormont?
Next week is too far away.